About Alice’s Friend: Feedback on Analysis
I’m glad and appreciated Alice taking the time to email me with her feedback on my case study articles about her friend John and his wife Jamie. Today’s article is about addressing Alice’s concern and sharing briefly how I’d identified tendency signs suggesting certain traits and actions (outcomes). I hope you will benefit from this “free learning” article. Once again, you need to refer to my earlier related articles (links at the end of this article) to understand the “background story” of the relationship strains between the couple, and my analysis and observations on their probable characters and traits.
Alice: Based on what I understand from my friend, indeed she is an intelligent person else she won’t be holding a job of certain position in a reputable company. You wrote about her having high risk of having the cancerous symptoms – I understood that it’s in her family history as her mum has cancer. So it might be linked somehow. Still remembered she told my friend off saying, if one day he was sick; she won’t be helping him, and it’s better he takes care of his own health. Perhaps that’s the way she cares or possibly what she said is real. No one knows.
Alice was referring to my article “About Alice’s Friend: His Wife.” We could associate the numbers 1 and 6 as having intellectual traits since both belonged to the same Metal element, with the number 1 having stronger prideful and ego-centric characteristics. We could associate the number 6 as having more responsibility-focused attitude, like having a “Critical Parent” ego state (as in Dr Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis (TA) principles), and a “lady boss” mentality. The presence of “show off” and the “self-beneficial vs self-sacrifice” attitudes are obvious when strong Metal element is found in a person’s chart. That could explain Jamie’s comment that her husband needed to take care of his own health, and not depending on her as she’s busy (with her career and other pursuits) and having “little or no time” to worry for him.
[Side-note to FEN students: The tendency signs in her Achievement and Power sectors are strong. Homework: Identify the signs and correlate them with her character as shared in my previous article… ]
Some years back, I was researching on health aspects, and was analysing charts of people suffering or died from cancer-related illness. With the FEON+ software to automate the charts, I could view different person’s charts interchangeably to find out if there are certain patterns or signs present. Once I’d applied the correlativity with the Five Elements principles, I could identify the potential health “risk” of a person having such “cancer” signs, especially when they do not take good care of their health before the symptom surfaces.
Alice: As for their relationship, it is true that they both don’t bother about each other’s work. They can don’t contact each other for the whole day. Maybe that’s marriage life? Maybe that’s trust? Even so, I’m surprised to know this but what you’ve analysed truly shows – present themselves as the perfect couple. I think this is really true! I was told a lot of things are just “on the surface” and it’s all about the kids.
Alice was referring to another article, “About Alice’s Friend: Spouse Relationship” where I’d identified “superficial” relationship in public’s eyes. With the 1-1-1 pattern, everything is about “face-saving” and the wearing of a perfect happy-face mask. Marriage is about instilling both trust and communication, besides many other equally important factors. With mobile messaging app (like WhatsApp or Line) easily available, it’s unlikely NOT to receive text messages from each other these days, no matter how busy we are. Unless like John and Jamie – their relationship has strained, and the once-loving couple is gradually becoming a landlord-tenant mutual friend.
Alice: Like a lot of couples, I guess money is the main issue here for them. As long as there is money, she doesn’t quarrel with him. He used to earn a lot but now, it isn’t the case so maybe she can’t get used to it. I don’t know. But well, life has its up and down, why can’t couple just help one another? Sometimes I wonder…
Alice’s concern for John is strong. However, we have to analyse the situation from both sides to form a more unbiased opinion. Money is not the end-all fixes to all problems in a marriage life. Jamie might have her reasons to behave the way she is doing now because of John’s indifferent and unreasonable attitudes. Jamie has the smart and intellectual genes, and she may be aware of her husband’s monetary problems. While John is pursuing escapism from financial and family responsibilities, Jamie is redirecting her attention towards her career. They’ve nothing much to talk if John doesn’t make the first move to communicate and let her knows the truth. Furthermore, the strong Metal element in Jamie’s chart is about pride and ego, while the strong Wood element in John’s chart is about emotions and survival. In the Five Elements principles, Metal and Wood are constantly at “loggerheads” where robust Metal (like a chainsaw) can chop off the Wood (like a tree); and firm Wood (like a solid wooden block) can dent the Metal (like a penknife blade or chisel). Either way, both must strive to let go from their resentment and TALK. Perhaps seeking professional counselling would be better for both to open their hearts and minds, and to set a timeline for review.
Alice: You mentioned challenging year for them in PY2018, which is next year. That he might have the ability to realise his plan, and she will be more homely and understanding? So does it means, they will get through it this year, 2017 since there is a sudden windfall? Can I say that, it is not good for him to tell her the problem he is facing, as in debt? Based on what I see, she might flare up knowing all these issues.
Relationship is not only for money’s sake. Jamie has the capacity to grow her wealth, and need not have to depend solely on John to provide monetary support at home. Worrying about Jamie flaring up about his financial debt is just an assumption, for now since we don’t know the full story. Not telling her the truth and prolonging the secret would make matters worst, becoming like the “tempest in a boiling kettle.” A sudden windfall has a short-term effect. Did I mention, “challenging?” That means there’d be obstacles and stumbling blocks if John (or Jamie) is not in the right mind and positiveness to grab the opportunities when it comes. In short, what matters most now is for them both to sit down and talk, and listen attentively to each other’s views and worries.
Alice: I just feel that what you’d analysed made me realised why he didn’t tell her about his problem. Not even small chat as it will be linked to money issue. So the best thing for him is to go home when it’s late to avoid unnecessary conflict. Sometimes I do feel for him – when he went back to his parent place, it usually him alone. His wife and daughters don’t follow because they prefer following their mother to her parents who stayed in a landed-property house.
As explained earlier, communication is one major problem between couple facing strained relationship. Escaping from reality and treating his home like a hotel, and fearing his wife like the landlord chasing for payment, is unnecessary. I told Alice that is important for John to talk and let his wife knows his situation. Furthermore, marriage is not all about love or sex, but trust and communication. Sure, it is easier said than done when we are outsiders.
Alice: Sadly, there aren’t love and sex according to my friend in the marriage anymore. It’s more about obligation. As for her, I got no idea. Money seems like the way to solve this matter based on what I heard. Indeed, it’s easier said than done. I totally agreed with you. At this point, I think he is worried about his mum, business and debts more than any other things in life. I trust that nothing bad will happen to their marriage since I got a feel that “face value” is really important to her. And maybe that’s something good?
The choice is up to John to decide what he wants in his marriage, career, and family. Borrowing money and not paying back promptly is bad enough. John’s mind is all about money, and he could have subconsciously linked his wife’s indifference attitude with money-related reasons, which may not be true. I’m not sure about the relationship Alice had with a John, as a concerned friend. However, Alice might have heard from John, a one-sided biased story. An emotional person could easily convinced others with their sad stories.
The contributing issue here could probably be due to the excessive number 4s present in John’s birth chart. That denotes frequent changing of plans – even before he could carry out his plan to fruition, he would revise or change to another plan. This implies the habit of changing plans repeatedly many times. It’d be harder for him to realise his goals if he continues to build half-completed plans. His financial burdens could have been caused by his own inconsistent actions; and the changing of plans could create the “over promise, under deliver” impression others had on him.
And now, let me share one approach that I’ve often explained to my FEN (Five Elements Numerology) students in class – identifying solutions that could dilute the negative vibes influencing a person. In this instance, it’s about John’s career. From the Five Elements perspective, John might want to reconsider changing his career and focusing on jobs related to the Fire or Earth element for the interim period. In the Five Elements theory, Fire would exhaust Wood (which is good for John since he has too many Woods), and Fire could control Metal (which is also good as he could calm and release the tension on Jamie’s strong Metal vibes).
Lastly, as in any influencing vibe, the level of intensity, positivity, or detrimental effects, depends mainly on the person’s mindset and attitude. So, even when John decided to change to a Fire or Earth element-related career, the outcome would eventually be determined by his commitment to change his attitudes, control his financial spending and borrowing, and have a good “Adult-Adult” (ego-state in TA) talk with his wife.
Who knows, their strained relationship might reverse to the positive side, and starts improving once their initial consideration for “face value” factor becomes a habit. Over time, these pretentious acts could subconsciously restore their loving relationship, while John could stay focused on his career, and maintain good financial and emotional management. John and Jamie must do what’s needed to ensure a happy ending for them both, and joyful and peaceful times for the family…
Regards, Ron WZ Sun