Jennifer’s Marital Strains
According to the Department of Statistics Singapore site, there were 7525 divorces in 2013 compared with 26254 marriages registered the same year. And on this TODAY Online site, it was reported “the total number of marital dissolutions (comprising divorces and annulments) rose four per cent from 7,237 in 2012 to 7,525 in 2013.” A divorce is truly the last resort. You may want to check this theAsianparent Singapore site for more information on how you can save your union with your spouse.
Jennifer wrote in her recent email, “I have bought your book but studied halfway and my husband had asked for divorce. I was stunt and having a blank mind now. Is it possible for you to analyse my chart and my relationship? I don’t know what to do next.”
I replied to Jennifer, “… please stay calm and control your temper and emotions. Understand why such incident had happened and reflect on where goes wrong. Whatever the outcome, remain calm and listen to what others are saying.”
Suggesting a divorce don’t happen “just like that” and is not a whimsical thought one chose to make rashly. Past actions could have triggered the marital strains. Over time, the communication gap widens and the magnetic love for each other slowly drifted apart and faded away. By then, one party might treated their house more like a hotel (convenient place to sleep) than a home (to live and cherish the family).
Let’s analyse Jennifer’s EON chart starting from the basic EON principles. The Root number 8 denotes a stressful, perfectionist but responsible person who’s often busy working hard to achieve their goals. Jennifer’s goals might be on financial matters or to need to create better home for her family (9-6-6). From an extended EON perspective, there are tendency signs suggesting a person with ‘self-centred’ mindset who prefers doing things on her own rather than trusting others. The unfounded fear that others may not do a ‘good job’ stays constantly in her mind. Most of the time, the steaming effect (like the boiling kettle and steaming vapour) could have distracted her from focusing on doing the correct things at the right time.
There might be some dispute last year possibly over unnecessary spending. The focus could be on her home or her husband. We can correlate the 7-5-3 (or 5-7-3) as legal entanglement. It could also imply quarrelsome disputes with her husband. Jennifer has the “mirror chart” in 2014, and the numbers present could suggest finger-pointing accusations and perhaps towards moral duties. Based on the influences from her annual vibes (Annual Code), there are signs of crazy busy moments in communicating with others. This could imply Jennifer might have communication problems expressing herself to her husband, in-laws, or others. There are tendency signs suggesting the once self-sacrificing person became critical and rash between last year and early this year. Perhaps she might have felt more frustrated and agitated over ‘trivial matters’ and from a small little ‘matchstick’ fire, it soon enraged to fiery wild forest fire. Jennifer has to stay calm and compose her thoughts before communicating with others. It’s best for her to seek a professional marriage counsellor for amicable solutions.
Let’s look at her Jennifer’s husband’s EON chart. For easier reference, let’s call him “Tom.” Here lies a perfectionist person (8-1-9, 1-8-9) who’s meticulously in what he does. And like Jennifer, Tom is always stressing himself for the sake of realising his visions, and wouldn’t mind spending relentless time chasing his goals. However, amid the OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) tendencies, there lies the fiery emotional build-up energies in him. The sudden outburst could have also triggered some fiery quarrels. And when there are two “fiery perfectionist people” communicating at home especially last year, the temperature goes up quickly.
Last year, Tom might have felt the challenges (and possibly obstacles) at work, and there might be office politicking affecting his work recognitions (and possibly promotions). He might have felt the need to work harder and put aside the work-life balance pursuits aside. There are tendency signs suggesting some close-up relationships with another female person. It might just be a platonic relationship but the suspicions and emotions ran high at home. Tom might have felt the urge to plan for his career future but found it difficult to communicate to his wife, so he seeks a listening companion instead. In reality, this might not be the case as although the tendency signs are present, the eventual outcome depends on the person’s beliefs, moral values, and family upbringing.
Let’s look at the “Relationship / Compatibility” (R/C) chart. They tend to be busy thinking about what they can do together, and how they can grow their financial wealth. Jennifer and Tom should relook at the good times when they first met, and identify the positivities that brought them together, the magnetism, the “click”, and purpose of their marriage.
The 6-7-4 [Money-Support-Plan] is present in their combined yearly chart. On hindsight, it might be [Home-Support-Plan]. Hence the need to seek a solution to their current marital strains. Jennifer and Tom must recognise each other’s behaviours, emotions, and tempers. Build the trust and they might see the ‘light’ at the end of the quarrelsome tunnel. The 6-9-6-6-3-9 patterns are present in their PY2016 compatibility year chart. This imply some form of closure. I hope there can be a happy solution for Jennifer and Tom. They need to do their part if they sincerely want to save the marriage. Give each other the trust and allow ‘breathing space’ to follow own interests is important too.
It’s not easy to do self-reflections and identify where we have gone wrong. It’s always easier to recognise the faults from an external party. Jennifer needs to be more empathetic and reduce her “selective listening” habits. Jennifer and Tom might want to seek professional marriage counsellor. They can voice their opinions, identify where the fault lies, and perhaps come to a compromising solution to patch up and continue living together as happy spouse.
Regards, Ron WZ Sun
