This Girl is On Fire

I posted an article, “A Man, His Wife, & His Companion” on 18 December 2011 where I discussed the relationship between the man (Raj), his Wife (Sara), and his female companion (Doris). How time flies… that article was more than four years back! 

Doris recently sent me an email, updating on her relationship with her live-in partner Raj for the past eight years. She was grateful for Raj, who supported and helped her walked out of her darkness all this while, and both loved each other deeply. Her children are also closely bonded with Raj. It was a sweet love story that she could find the supporting man willing to accompany her while she was walking in darkness of loneliness. She divorced her abusive husband much earlier and as a single-parent, took great care of her kids and ensured they have all the love and family values she could provide.

Raj came to Singapore to work, set up a business so that he can provide the financial needs to his family back home in India. As in any long-distance relationship, Raj’s closeness with his family and children in India slowly drifted apart, and there was little kinship between them for the last 15 years. Now, there is a problem. Sara (Raj’s wife) had an accident and became handicapped. Raj felt obligated to take care of his “marriage-in-name” wife and thought the best way was to bring her to Singapore to stay during the recuperating period. He could then take care of her while at the same time, attend to his business here.

Doris was at loss. She and her children have to “stay out” during the period when Raj is taking care of his wife at his Singapore home. Doris was caught in the middle – she can’t ask Raj to forsake his wife-in-name, and she couldn’t let go with the 8-years of close relationship with Raj. She wrote, “Should I take a step back and walk out of the relationship? Then it’s going to be painful for me and my family. If we continue the relationship, I would also be in agony despite this man said he will still love, care, protect, and would not leave me. In fact, he is always there for me and supporting me all these while.”

I was concerned and hope I could help Doris in every way possible. I wrote a lengthy reply to Doris directly and here’s an edited excerpt, “I’d recommend you to seek professional medical or psychiatrist help to untangle the knots intertwined so far. He has obligations to his family in India. No matter what he said, it could be a one-sided story… I know it’s difficult to break the bond after being close and personal for eight years. Nevertheless, do spare a thought for your kids – listen to them and seek their views sincerely on how they think about your situation. It’s normal to shut the ears and assumed what we do [as a parent] is always right, but oftentimes, we might not always be right as we are oblivious to the surroundings around us. What you need is true love, based on trust and sincerity. Do not shut the windows [and doors] and free the mind off your attachment to him. Mix around in social groups, and get to know more male friends. Who knows, you might find a better person who loves you even more; the man who truthfully wants to live with you as loving husband, as nurturing father to your grown-up children, and together as a family to build a warm and happy home. And as a caring partner, you can be proud to tell others openly. Give yourself the chance, no matter what my analysis is. It is a difficult path you have to take and must go through. Don’t make the journeys your worse experience. Stop to smell the roses, and at the same time don’t close the doors. Even when the door is closed, a new window opens. You have the choice, and you can do it if you put aside the fear and reluctance to brighten the times ahead and have a joyful family life… Ask yourself what you plan to do or can you accept the fact that you might live with him in the current status quo state [as a lover] for next 5, 10, or 20 years. And the fear he might leave you [one day] when he’s tired and could find solace somewhere else. Seek professional help if you can, and clear the mind.”

It’s easier for us (as outsiders) to suggest Doris to let go with the companion (I need you, you need me) kind of relationship and not continue with the “blinded” mode thinking it’s a loving and lasting relationship. I do wish for Doris to take charge to “light up the darkness” surrounding her and not just on the single spot where Raj is shinning his lights on her. I hope Doris could find her true love and enjoy complete family life. I decided to post excerpts of my lengthy reply here as I felt some of you might be in professional position to hold hands together to help Doris align her thoughts and walk the right path with her family in a happier mood, confidently. Send me a private email (SunTzu2796@gmail.com) if you’re willing to help Doris (on personal basis), and I will connect her with you if she’s willing.

Now, let’s review their EON charts again from updated perspectives, and using the FEON+ software to plot their charts. I’m glad I added the multiple (up to four persons’ charts) relationship chart in the FEON+ software. I quickly plotted Raj’s chart (as the main subject person) and added both Sara and Doris charts into the “Relationship / Compatibility” (R/C) chart.

The R/C chart between Raj and Sara shows the 4-3-7-1-2-3 patterns (left screenshot). While Raj mentioned the marriage to Sara was more like “marriage-in-name,” the tendency signs suggest it might be, at first glance, was for the convenience of others. However, the nuptial knots might be self-beneficial with eventual material rewards. There was no mention about Sara’s parents, and if she came from a wealthy family. The 4-4-4 (and other 4s elsewhere) and 4-8-3 patterns are present in “Compatibility Year Chart” (CYC) for 2016. This could suggest extreme emotional tension and relationship strains between Raj and Sara.

The R/C chart between Raj and Doris shows the 2-7-9-7-2-9 patterns (right screenshot). Once again, and as mentioned in the earlier article, Raj and Doris has a more loving and sensual relationship than Raj and his wife Sara. The 3-3 patterns could suggest both were sexually attracted to each other, and the multiple 2s could suggest they could communicate well; chit chatted until the “cows come home” and possibly have common topics to discuss. Could the 2-4-6 suggest Raj needs to put in an extra effort to “sweet talk” to Doris and convince her about his “non-intimate” relationship with his wife, and his sincere love for her (Doris)?

I noticed the relationship between Raj and Sara is more of a friendly equal status (Raj’s Root 1 and Sara’s Root 6; 1+6=7). Furthermore, both of their Root numbers are of same Metal element. Raj’s relationship with Doris is more on the “mentally charged and avid pleasure” mode as in the Five Elements principles, Fire controls Metal; and Metal when strong could repel Fire. In short, it’s like constant steaming vapours between the mental thoughts and the fiery and passionate needs.

Let’s move beyond the relationship analysis and focus on Raj’s chart. Besides associating multiple 3s to passions and sexual desires, lots of number 5s could also imply self-explorations and sensual needs. The two sets of 5-5 could suggest distractions and greed; and like the quicksand, the urge to grab everything in sight. What this implied is there are tendency signs in Raj’s chart suggesting he might want to have and enjoy the best of both worlds – his connections with his Wife and his relation with Doris. Raj is a highly resourceful and street-smart person, and the multiple 6s in his chart suggest an intellectual and materialistic person. Furthermore, Raj has the mirror chart which implies duality traits or split personality, or in this case, the possibility of a two-timer person.

What I’ve mentioned is based on the elements and numbers present in Raj, Sara, and Doris charts, and does not imply the traits and actions mentioned are correct. Truth be told, Doris is hearing Raj’s side of his sad and unfortunate story. If she seriously wants to continue the relationship with Raj, the least she can do is quietly get to know Sara’s background, like visiting Sara and her parents in India without Raj’s knowledge. Get to know the other side of the story and see if what Raj had told her is true. Eventually, Doris must be prepared for the worst scenario – that Raj told her was the only half-truth.

It’s up to Doris to take charge to decide what she wants to have for a complete family, and to restore her self-confidence. There is nothing in life that Doris cannot overcome. Stand up, and stand tall. Seek the truth, even if it hurts. Do not be blindsided and get the facts right. It’s always happier to enjoy a lifelong relationship than envisioning a fairy tale life where she constantly fear the prince may disappear one day.

Regards, Ron WZ Sun